Scary Stories Part IV: The Perfect Candidate
Franc, that’s my name, by the way. A pleasure to meet you. Myself? I’ve been in recruitment for years – decades, even. I specialise in the perfect candidate. Ideal employees tailored specifically for the job. I don’t work with “good enough”, no, I work with the best of the best. My patients- …placements, are built to last. That’s why you are here.
My dear. You look so frightened. There is no need to be concerned. I have worked this job for many a year. I found you online, you see… your CV was quite impressive. A lovely set of skills, but perhaps the layout could do with a little work. A moderate amount of experience, certainly something we can work with.
Oh no, there is no need to look so distraught! We have positions available for those with any level of experience. In this company, though, we like to have the perfect candidate for the perfect position. That’s why I invited you in this afternoon. You must understand, that the position I am putting you forward for is quite unique. It requires rather a specific skillset and an eye for detail.
Indeed, it is you eye for detail that so intrigues me. Perfect grammar, wonderful vocabulary, and experience in report writing. Just what we needed for this position. You are a rare find indeed, and it is such a rare quality. The last candidate I spoke to had just the right level of manual experience, but he did not have your eyes. Not yet.
Please, there is no need to struggle, I assure you those bindings are quite secure.
Like I said, there is no need to worry about your lack of experience in the field. The arms I have found on candidate 47761 have remarkable muscle memory and should do just fine. A silver tongue from 9248, and a nose for danger from that ex-military lad, number 71381. Combining these with your eyes should give me the ideal prospective employee. After all, I have my good name to live up to - Dr Franc C’Onsultant always delivers the perfect candidate for the job. You could even say: it’s like they’re made for it.