Scary Stories Part II: Little Red Hiring Suit
Welcome back, to the second installment in "Scary Stories" with Gleeson!
(If you haven't read Part I, you can find it here)
It’s interview day. You’re wearing your shiny red business suit and matching scarlet tie. A bit flashy, but you want to stand out. Your very first prospective job, straight out of uni. You still haven’t left student accommodation. It’s that strange combination of nerves and excitement.
Gleeson Recruitment Group, you read on the door, and you march in with pride. Past the smiling receptionist, past the bloodstained reception desk, past the swanky modern reception area, you walk.
Bloodstained reception desk? You look back. Of course not: just the reflection of your shiny red suit in the shiny polished white desk. Silly you. You exhale. It’s scary stuff, interview day, so you can forgive yourself for getting rattled – after all, this is all very new to you. Onwards you walk, until you arrive at his door: the notorious “Mr Wolfe”, as the plate on the door confirms (his name, that is, not his notoriety). You give a quick rap on the door and are quickly summoned inside.
Mr Wolfe sits behind another shiny polished white desk, and again you marvel at the bloodstain-like reflection of your shiny red business suit and matching scarlet tie. It’s easy to get distracted on a day like today, and you are worried that the corporate world could swallow you whole. You sit down opposite your consultant.
Poor Mr Wolfe! He must have a cold! He is wrapped up tight in a blanket, darkened sunglasses hanging off the edge of his nose, barely a glimmer of his unshaven face left visible. You reach into your backpack and pull out a Tupperware container. Opening it, you tilt it towards him, proffering up a muffin – freshly baked this morning. You do like to impress. He takes it from you gently, a hungry look in his eye.
“Welcome, Little Jenny”, growls Mr Wolfe. Goodness, he sounds ill, his voice is so gruff!
“Good morning, Mr Wolfe”, you reply, trying to sound more confident than you feel. You are so scared he will be judging your every word. You note the clipboard on his desk, with many a list of companies: “My, what a big list of companies you have there!”
Mr Wolfe smiles, in return, a big gleaming smile. “Why, all the better to find you a placement, my dear”, he says. “Here, I have proofed the CV you emailed and attached some formatting notes to help you”, he croons, passing over a document. You worry for a moment: did you make a mistake?
“My”, you say, “What a detailed list of notes!”
“All the better to present you to clients”, replies Mr Wolfe, reassuringly, his thick hair glistening with a perhaps over-exuberant amount of conditioner. You breathe a sigh of relief. He is on your side, you remember. He hands you another sheaf of papers. “Some forms for you to fill out”, he adds, with a grin.
“Why”, you exclaim, flicking through the list of questions, “What an extensive array of questions!”
It is easy to feel intimidated in situations such as these, you remind yourself, trying to ignore the deep worry in the pit of your belly.
“Dear Little Jenny”, comes the reply, “All the better to understand your needs.”
Reassured, and emboldened, you proceed. Within a few minutes, hands are shaken, and you find yourself signing a contract. As the ink is drying, you are looking once more at the disclaimers and background enquiries, nervously doing double and triple checks.
“Christ almighty, Mr Wolfe, what a long list of disclaimers and background checks!”, you announce.
Mr Wolfe gives a wolfish grin: “Why Little Jenny; all the better to eat you with… without legal ramifications or compliance issues!”
(Check out Part III here)